You know that DJ Khaled song, “No New Friends”? I strongly resent that song.
I understand that the whole purpose behind that song is to stay loyal to the friendships you have established and not trusting new people. But for real? This is where our standards on each other have come too? Geesh… smh.
Why not have any new friends? Isn’t the whole purpose of our social and spiritual nature? To be around others, whether “new” or “old” in our lives? I wouldn’t be able to thrive unless I had new friends.
New people bring in new levels and new ways of thinking; New growth and new ways to approach life. But, with that being said, it is also important to say that it matters what exactly these new people bring to your life: Is it drama or peace? Is it adventure or danger? Jealously or happiness?
I mean, it is up to you to judge and figure out what is best for you and your life. What do you need the most of a new friendship? Someone just to have fun with, or, someone that is both fun and help you to grow? Because there are many people out here that is all about the fun, but when it comes to change and evolving into the person God has called to be, they cannot suffice.
So, what is it gonna be?
Ultimately, for me, I am looking for friendships that are meaningful. That doesn’t mean that we have to be deep all the time, nor just have fun all the time either. I seek out a balance. And that balance involves a certain amount of being prepared for my amount of goofiness and how I can talk forever about my experiences and how God brought me through.
I am tired of one sided friendships where I invest myself into it too deep and it was only meant for a season. I am tired of when I go away to my dorm room, all these people miss me, but when I get home their fallback game is way strong. I am tired of showing up and showing out for them, but nobody willing to be my cheerleader. I am tired of spending HOURS with them, but can’t even receive a small text back nor any support.
You see, all those things that happened, that was my fault. There is no need to try to convince me otherwise because I know exactly where I stand. I am going to take responsibility for this because I knew it wasn’t right but I allowed it to happen for a very long time. Honestly, in some instances, it is still happening. And I am so tired of it. I have no problem giving, it is apart of my purpose and what I love to do, but when I continuously give and give and give AND give to the wrong people, I end up feeling depleted of resources and bitter. I know that I ended giving away more than I should have and that I did not listen to God when it came to my giving. I ended up hurt because I invested in what I thought would be a lifetime of friendships, but most of them were only meant to stay for a short visit.
So, now, I have found myself being completely caught up and entangled in a constant circulation of people, trying to figure out who is what and why they are there. Only to understand that midway through the friendship that my expectations and their expectations were completely different and out of sync of God’s intended purpose. Sometimes the other person gets hurt too. But the selfish side of me finds that it is only myself that writhes in pain and began to plot my next plot in order not get got…again.
But, it’s all the same cycle with my own purpose in mind: To one up the other. But it is not working; it never did. So, now it is time to “woman up” and mature, make mature decisions and stand by them. It’s hard because some, or even most, of my friend ships will break. It’s not because they are toxic, it’s because I have attached myself to people who I wasn’t suppose too. I was not careful with what I was doing.
I wasn’t careful with me.
You see… the reason why I ended up in this cycle is because I became so desperate to be liked/loved that I felt that if they embraced me, maybe I would come along and love myself as much as they loved me. I became so fixated on how much they liked me AND loved me that their outpouring became my streamline; it became the foundation to our friendships. And that was wrong… all wrong…
That opened doors for me to be treated any type of way as long as I could be filled and drink of their attention, in hopes that as much as they saw in me, I would see in myself. It allowed for excuses to come in and make a home in my heart when it was obvious that I was hurting. It became a normal thing to see Ter’race with the smiling face, warm heart, and open eyes to just accept anything and be the “best”.
But… that’s not me anymore. I have found Ter’race at face value the way God sees me. There is nothing lost in Him, but everything to gain. It is amazing that one who we hurt the most STILL has so much to give, especially without hesitation. So, when I found my wealth, my worthiness, and my value through Him, all the things I would normally accept, where my yes was a hesitant one, all became a unanimous NO.
I refuse, absolutely R E F U S E, to be treated any other way than what I have learned from God. Now, do not get me wrong… I expect persecution and hate, even from my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, however, that is not what I am talking about. I am talking about when I offer a person a piece of myself, they are to know not to take it lightly. What I have to offer and to give is a lot and it has purpose along with melody. It carries a tunes that flows through every crevice and peak; it never stops.
I am not just something that is just here; I am a piece of God’s Plan moving and making things happen. I can move mountains and call things as though they were here. Ultimately, my power lies within my reverence and obedience to God; nothing shall hurt me, not even myself.
So, with that, my reasons behind having new friends is that they bring a sense of newness, adaptability, and self worth. They bring new and open doors to experiences that may not have been able to come before. The newness of new friends brings about a vulnerability that may not have been naturally inclined to be visible before. It is a breath of fresh air, new season, and new possibilities. They are another source of God’s love that we are just now knowing about.
Enjoying the sweetness of god 