When does it end?

Sometimes I wake up having my best days and other times I wake up in the midst of bad days before my day begins.

I gotta admit, most of the time, I CAN HANDLE IT. Like seriously, I can handle bad days with a genuine laugh and smile. I consider that BAWSS behavior 😜.

But… then there are days where life is more gloomy than usual and I just can’t take it. I sit there and cry, wondering how I got myself into this mess called life. Like… I really would like to know when and where I agreed to all of this 😂. Was I drunk when I signed on for all of this? Lol.

But, seriously, the stuff I put up and go through with is outrageous. Sometimes it feels like a movie. Some days I feel like giving up, becoming the best and professional hermit crab I know, and stay in bed forever (welcome to depression).

If it were up to me, I would have been living this lifestyle a LONG time ago. But I just don’t have it in me.

Knowing that I live for a greater purpose is what keeps me going even when I don’t want too. It keeps me loving people who hurt me; It keeps me from hurting those who hurt me; It keeps me from becoming a professional hermit crab in my own house; It keeps me from being petty when I desperately seek to be Petty White, Petty Murphy, and Petty Wap wrapped into one all day, erry day!

God is the power behind all of the motivation. Even when I don’t feel like it, I still do what He tells me. Sometimes, I wonder what would happen if I decided to just stop: Stop ministry; Stop sharing the Word; Stop, minimize, and stunt every growth spurt.

It would be simple what would happen: His Will would STILL be done. He called me to get things accomplished for His Kingdom, but if I don’t comply, it doesn’t hurt His Plans.

I believe it is an absolute privilege to be apart of His Plans AND be a willing participant to operate in it. It’s not always pretty and the long-suffering is R E A L. Then, sometimes in suffering comes correction and discipline (Hebrews 12:5-7). Like, whoa, does it EVER end?

It does… eventually. However, the most painful part of that statement is that no one knows when. There is hope (Psalms 37) and God’s faithfulness to lean onto during the hardest days.

I agree that not everything can be covered up with a band-aid and a smile. Those wounds can be pinched, poked, and prodded over and over again. And, IT HURTS.

But even in the midst of your pain, keep going. I am not saying don’t acknowledge your pain (please do 🙏🏾), but know that your pain does not have to have the last word…

God and you do.